


Silence Holds Them

by ConfessionForAnotherTime



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Demisexual Bitters, Fluff and Angst, M/M, hearing loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 06:18:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3840250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessionForAnotherTime/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine Palomo being in a terrible accident where he goes deaf. Bitters is in the hospital with tears running down his face and Palomo just pulls out a pen and paper (Or actually says it or, after a while, does it in sign language.) And says, "I guess I really am comic book Hawkeye" and what happens next is up to you.</p><p>I took some liberities with the prompt though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence Holds Them

“Did you have to do that? Now I’m going to get messages for days about how you kissed me on the cheek.” Bitters laid his headphones on the hook next to his gaming rig, saving his progress and getting the equipment shut down for now. Palomo scoffed, waving his hand.

“Oh calm down. They’re just jealous that your biggest--”

“Palomo, you are not my biggest fan.” He set his controller down below the headphones, rolling his eyes.

“Let me finish. They’re just jealous that your biggest fan gets to kiss you--” Palomo continued, handing his headphones and controller to Bitters, wrapping up one of the charging cables.

“I am not letting you kiss me on camera.” Bitters refused to take the charge cable, standing with his hands on his hips. 

“I said will you let me finish? They’re just jealous that your biggest fan gets to kiss you--” Palomo offered the charge cable again, grinning when Bitters finally took it, tossing it into the basket with the other cables. 

“On the cheek.” Bitters took a seat on the couch again, getting comfortable. He held an arm out once Palomo grabbed the remote, pulling him down onto the couch next to him and cuddling him close. 

“Yes, on the cheek, and they don’t. There. Thank you. Was that so hard?” Palomo cuddled up against Bitters’ side, pressing another kiss to his cheek.

“You know I don’t like advertising that we’re a couple now though. I’m not ashamed or anything, but just the idea of people peering into our personal lives like that? Creeps me out.” Bitters pulled him close, offering to take the remote. He turned on some nonsensical show, pulling Palomo’s legs over his lap. “If I’m going to be with you, I want it to just be you, not you and thousands of people watching, ya know?”

“I know. I know. It’s just difficult sometimes because I get so excited because I’m with you and there’s nothing stopping us.” Palomo tangled his hand with Bitters’, running his thumb over the back of Bitters’ hand, tracing the scar. The two of them tended to spend a good amount of time after a live stream especially, the attention of thousands of eyes watching them before they put the video onto their website was enough to drain the both of them. They had started off separately, each doing their own stream until they found that they overlapped on a lot of the same games. Palomo wanted to meet Bitters more than anything, especially after he found out that they lived in the same city. He grew even more excited when Bitters told him what part of town he lived in, leaving the younger live streamer to continue to be enamored. If Palomo hadn’t been so head over heels for Bitters, it might have had a different air to it, but Bitters was amused. They bonded over tv shows and movies. They shared ideas about novels and comic books, finding their interests similar in so many areas. The late night debates over which Hawkeye was better always became heated, especially when they assigned characters to their personalities. Bitters usually delighted in how angry Palomo got over being called Hawkeye, insisting he was the cooler comic book Hawkeye, as opposed to the one that he would argue that the movie production team fucked up in the series of Avengers movies. They argued over which Star Trek was better until the early hours one morning over messenger, prompting Bitters to give Palomo his address at 3am. Palomo jumped with joy when he hopped two steps at a time down the stairs, thrilled that Bitters lived so close. Palomo paid no attention to the alarmed look when Bitters stared at him wide-eyed as he opened the door, pulling him into a hug. Bitters did his best to squirm away, yet now, the two of them were nearly inseparable. It had been almost a year since Palomo sent that first message telling Bitters about how he adored his livestream and months since they officially met in person, but Palomo still treated every day like the first day of the rest of their lives. 

_ How did we ever get on the subject of how right this would feel?  _ Bitters leaned his head against Palomo’s, closing his eyes when the commercial came on. He didn’t often voice how he felt about the younger man in his arms. Most of the time, Bitters admissions of affection came when he knew Palomo was asleep, away or otherwise couldn’t hear. Palomo stirred, looking up and pulling him close again.

“I fall asleep in the best places. You’re the best place.” Palomo leaned up and kissed Bitters’ jaw, for once not getting an eyeroll in return. Bitters opened his eyes again, smiled down for once and kissed the top of Palomo’s forehead. There were few things better in his life so far and meeting Palomo had proved to be one of the better things to happen to him. Bitters nudged Palomo’s side, wanting him to get up, too sleepy to carry him. Palomo clung to his side anyway, wanting to keep Bitters steady after they shut off the TV and headed to bed. 

After a few months, Bitters had cleaned out a drawer for Palomo, his way of saying that he didn’t mind if he kept things over at his place. Usually it had figures and comics in it, considering how close Palomo lived. He had an overnight bag for clothes, finding it easier to keep entertainment that they could share close by instead of just clothing that signaled how close they had become over the time since they had met. Palomo dressed for bed, sliding under the sheets next to Bitters once the taller man had slipped off his prosthesis and laid back to sleep. Palomo turned to face him, burying his head into the warm chest he had just been laying on. 

“This still feels right. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you this weekend.” Palomo clung to Bitters more than normal as he remembered the convention he had coming up. He was a special guest, thanks to all of the streams and he was helping host a panel on getting started with livestreaming. “I just don’t get why you weren’t asked to come and present too.”

“Palomo, they did ask me. I couldn’t get the time off work though. You’ll be fine. You can live without me for a few days.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to.” Palomo closed his eyes once he settled in, pleased with himself.

“I’ll still be here when you get back.” Bitters hugged him close, showing Palomo the affection he reserved for only him.

“I know you will.”

\---

“Let me know when you get in.” Despite being hushed, Bitters still managed to sound louder than he intended. Anyone could tell he was worried.

“I will,” Palomo assured him, squeezing his hand. 

“I just want to know you make it safe.” Bitters’ worry continued as he brushed the hair out of Palomo’s face.

“I’ll be fine. I have everything I need. Well, besides you.” Palomo forced a smile. This was the first time they would be apart for this long.

“I’ll text you tonight.” Bitters knew it wouldn’t be the same.

“I’ll send a short video to wish you goodnight.” Palomo pulled up Bitters’ hand to kiss it before he let go and headed to the security check. Bitters waved as he watched him go.  _ Strange. He doesn’t normally show that much affection in public. _ He should be going with him but with work tonight and his boss refusing to budge until the day before, he had no choice but to stay. VidCon was the place to be this year for any and all livestreamers. The two of them had been asked to attend and do a short panel with a few other of the varying livestreamers from all across the country. Palomo waited at his gate, sending Bitters a text about how he wished he could come. Considering Bitters had the time off now, after tickets were five times what they should be for this kind of flight, there was no way that he would be able to go. He sent off another text to Bitters, telling him he missed him even if he hadn’t gotten a reply from the first one. Palomo figured he was still driving and being safe about it. He would get a response when he got back. Palomo turned off his phone for the flight, boarding the plane and settling into his seat. He was on the aisle, and by the time they pulled back from the gate, he saw the middle seat next to him was empty. His heart sank.

“That could be Bitters’ seat.” The woman sitting on the aisle seat raised her eyebrow before turning away from him, leaving him to his sadness. He shrugged at her indifference, putting the earplug in his ears in hopes of balancing out the pressure to not hurt his eardrums. He popped in a pieces of gum to better even out the pressure as well. As the flight took off, he squirmed in pain a bit, the delicate membrane of his eardrums being pressured. He had dealt with it his whole life, but flights were always the worst. With how thin his eardrum was, he wouldn’t be surprised if he ruptured it slightly this time. That happened to be the real reason for the earplugs: in case they ruptured and bled. That first flight had been awful for him, but the concerned looks from others were worse. Coming down on the flight was just as bad and he was exhausted from the flying. He was happy he left a few days early, so he could get settled in his hotel room before his middle brother came to pick him up. VidCon happened near his hometown, so he had plans to visit family as well. 

As Palomo sat in his hotel room alone, he bemoaned Bitters not being there with him. Once he cleaned his ears after removing the plugs and ensuring that he wasn’t or hadn’t been bleeding, he wondered what to do. He had planned a lot of the trip initially around being able to spend time with Bitters as well. He wanted them to meet his mom and his two older brothers. With all that he told her about him, he was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to have them meet. 

“Well, at least not this time.” He checked his phone to look at the time difference between where he was and Bitters. “He should still be awake.” Palomo clicked the button of Bitters’ face, tongue stuck out and piercing visible. The line rang for a few moments. 

“Yo.” Palomo could hear the smile even if he couldn’t see it.

“Hey, I really wish you could be here.” Palomo let out a sigh, sinking on the bed and laying on his back.

“I know. I should be, but I’m not. You’re going to go visit your mom tomorrow right?” 

“Yeah.” Palomo nodded. He was always a lot calmer without a bunch of extra people around him to stimulate him into saying something stupid. “Planned on heading over there in the morning. She sounded disappointed when I told her you couldn’t come.”

“Hey. Well, tell her I said hi at least. I know she enjoys hearing about me as much as she enjoys hearing from you.” Bitters laughed just after, trying to keep the mood light despite the distance that kept them apart. They talked for a bit longer before Bitters mentioned going to bed. He had picked up an extra shift in the morning at the game store and he figured he would get the hours in while he could. 

“Love you, Bitters.” Palomo still waited for the day when he would hear it back, hoping that with the separation would at least prompt something more out of him. 

“Haha yeah. You too. Whatever, you know?” Bitters felt that with the distance between them, now wasn’t the time to tell him. He couldn’t. Not over the phone. This was something he could tell him when he got back. Palomo sighed, smiled anyway and hung up the phone, flopping his arms against the bed.  _ I know he cares. I just wish he would say it too. _

\---

Palomo’s stay with his mother and two brothers went about as smoothly as expected with his mom asking about his sweet boyfriend and why he couldn’t come along. Palomo blushed and told her not to worry about it while his oldest brother  cracked jokes about him finally finding one who could deal with him for long periods of time. Palomo ended up sticking his tongue out at them, even if they were right. The string of questions about Bitters, how long they had been dating, when they first kissed, if they were being safe when they had sex. 

“Mom!” Palomo’s blush spread the more questions she asked.

“What! I just want to know that my little boy is making good choices and not getting anything in the process that isn’t love and support from his partner.” She smiled widely across the dinner table, scolding his brothers for giggling at her words. “You just hope you’re this lucky when you find someone to love. Charlie has a lot to be happy about so don’t you go making fun of him because of me being happy about it.”

The rest of the dinner was uneventful, aside from the cackling at his mother pulling Palomo aside to ask if they were practicing safe sex and not just diving in. 

“Mom, seriously, there’s nothing to worry about. We’re not there. We may never be there. Antoine is… cautious. He’s not the type to pressure someone in sex, or well anything for that matter. Trust me though, when and if it happens, we will ensure that we use protection, okay?” Palomo couldn’t help but blush more at his mother asking such personal questions. He hadn’t expected to be ambushed with them. 

“Alright. You be safe kiddo. You always have known how to keep an ear out for danger.” She kissed his forehead. 

Palomo left the next morning back to the hotel to get read for the convention. The call from Bitters the night before had been more of the same. The same ‘I miss you’, ‘I wish you were here’ followed by mundane details about their days. Palomo recounted the conversations with his mother, with Bitters running his palm over his face on the other end of the line. They said their goodbyes, followed with Palomo’s ‘I love you’, still just getting the same joking ‘you too’ in return. 

Palomo couldn’t help but sigh with the events of the convention, wishing Bitters was with him and enjoying all the sights. He smiled softly at meeting all the people who wanted to see him as well as lighting up when he ran across some of the names that were so important to him. At his panel, he couldn’t help but frown each time someone asked where Bitters was, why he wasn’t there, why he didn’t come along. Palomo thought about calling him right then and there in the middle of the panel and holding the phone up to the microphone but he figured there would be another time for Bitters to join him. 

The weekend passed slower than Palomo wanted it to and he found it easier to wish he was home. It didn’t matter if he had to walk past that awful construction site to get to the grocery store or if Bitters would sooner stick his tongue out at him instead of kiss him, though that brought its own brand of hilarity. He was missing all of the little things that he enjoyed in life so much that he wanted to be back there so badly and leave behind this con, even with all of the faces smiling and happy to see him, to praise him for his content with Bitters and to pick his brain about getting into the streaming business. 

On the last day of the convention, a particularly excited girl came up to him, requesting his autograph out on the show floor. 

“I love the streams that you do with Bitters. You and your boyfriend are so cute together when you play. I want to have a relationship like that someday.” She asked to pose for a picture as he smiled at her comments, wishing he too had the relationship she thought he had with Bitters. He didn’t correct her when she called Bitters his boyfriend, knowing it was better to just go with it from what Bitters had told him. ‘They’ll form their own opinions either way. Now come over and kiss me since the camera is off and it’s just us. I don’t need thousands of people seeing what’s just for you.’ He smiled at the memory, knowing that deep down, Bitters did care. He was just slower to express it than most. Palomo continued along the show floor, picking up merchandise for the two of them from games they played as well as talking to game developers about content coming out, seeing if he could get his hands on sneak peeks or release copies to better advertise their games to the public that watched their stream. Palomo still filled his backpack, able to spend his time on the show floor mostly unpestered and posed for fans in the foyer. 

He left the convention hall when it closed, ready to hop on the plane for the red eye flight that would get him back home before Bitters usually went to bed. His bags had been packed for hours since he had already checked out of his hotel, leaving his luggage in the coat check of the convention. He called a cab to take him to the airport, generally saddened that Bitters wasn’t with him during the convention. Bitters would have complained about his leg hurting from all the walking, even if the prosthesis had been with him for years. They could have had a chance to answer questions about their streaming process instead of just Palomo pulling information out of thin air to go with all of the questions fans had asked at his signing booth, the show floor and the panel. He shook his head, pushing his finger in his ear to try to equalize the pressure in his ear, to make it so he could hear better from all of the noise in the convention and the feeling like he was getting sick. 

\---

After making it through security check and getting settled before his flight, Palomo pulled out his phone to call Bitters, his usual cheerful and sometimes perceived as stupid demeanor gone as the exhaustion set in from the weekend, He smiled at the picture of Bitters with his tongue stuck out again that he had as his icon, waiting the few rings before Bitters picked up. 

“Hey, there you are. Haven’t heard from you all day,” Bitters chirped, and Palomo could almost see the smile on his face. 

“Yeah, you know at cons that Sunday is always the longest day despite being the last one and overall the shortest. Either way, I’m waiting at the airport. Just wanted to say hi before I got on the plane. You’ll still be up when I get home, right?” Palomo let out a sigh anyway, happy to relax in one of the chairs even if he saw the gate attendants coming over to near where he was sitting to answer questions and provide services to those flying home. 

“Yeah, well, it’ll be good to have you home. It’s been far too quiet without you. Who else will I accidentally kill in Grand Theft Auto when we’re doing ridiculous stunts?” The mirth in Bitters voice just made Palomo smile more and wish he hadn’t even left in the first place.  _ Soon though.  _

“Any one of the other hundreds of people clamoring to be your friend on our consoles that constantly fill up our message boxes with game invites?” Palomo offered back, laughing.

“Yeah, true, but I would rather play with you over any of them.”

“Yeah, I know  I know.” Palomo perked up when he heard the gate attendant call for boarding. “Crap, I got to go. They’re calling for boarding and I don’t want to get stuck with a middle seat this time. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Palomo smiled at the phone, knowing he wouldn’t have to wait long. “I love you, Antoine.”

“Haha yeah, you too.” Palomo closed his eyes at bitters’ reply, sad he hadn’t returned his words. As he went to hang up like he usually did, Palomo lost grip of his phone and dropped it at his feet. Bitters, thinking he had heard the click of the line cutting off, repeated a quiet  _ I love you too _ when Palomo put the receiver to his ear to see if Bitters was still there. The line cut off a second later, leaving Palomo stunned. Did Bitters always end the calls like that? He didn’t have time to dwell on it as he grabbed his backpack and headed to the boarding line for the plane. 

Palomo got his ear plugs ready, securing them in his ears and hoped that the pressure from the rise and fall in altitude wouldn’t cause his eardrums to weaken anymore than they already had on the flight over and from the constant noise of the convention. The flight caused more pressure this time, and with it pain, likely from the “full” feeling in his ears from the continuous white noise. The plane landed and he stumbled a bit on his way out, the lack of pressure equalization making him stumble. He managed to grab his bags anyways, hopping onto the closest bus once he took his earplugs out and cursed softly at the blood. Palomo wiped it up with a spare t-shirt on the ride home, stopping a few stops ahead of where he normally would thanks to the construction that had shut down the street late a few days ago while he was away. He just wanted to get home, hug Bitters, tell him he loved him, and even if he didn’t hear it back, he knew now. He hurried past the site when on the opposite side of the street from him, a loud explosion rocked the block, making him wince. Thankfully the noise from the site quieted quickly, but he felt something warm trickle down his neck.  _ Blood again. Fuck. _ The pressure was gone from the fluid in his ears though, and that made him happy because he felt less uncomfortable. He finally made it to the steps of their apartment building, still confused as to how the street was so silent after that blast. He would later find out that the pressurized tank that helped power the rivet guns at the site had exploded on the other side of a concrete wall, but it still didn’t help. No one else was hurt, but the look on Bitters’ face when he spoke to Palomo once he got in, seeing the blood draining from his ears, he panicked. 

“Palomo are you okay? You’re bleeding!” Bitters left his calm, demure demeanor behind to worry over Palomo. He ran to grab a damp washcloth. “Come on we need to get you to the hospital.” Bitters was turned away from him so he didn’t hear, but Palomo was starting to worry. That explosion must have done more damage than he thought. He cocked his head at Bitter initially, starting to worry that he couldn’t hear anything beyond the sound of someone yelling when submersed under water. Palomo grabbed Bitters hand, trying to get him to speak to him, for the two of them to laugh and joke it off like some kind of bad dream. 

“What happened? Why can’t you hear me?” Bitters called out, thinking that an elevated tone would make it easier for Palomo to hear him. Palomo shrugged as Bitters led him to the car and the two of them arrived at the Emergency Room not long after. The doctors weren’t able to give much comfort than hoping his hearing would come back in time, after the membrane of the eardrum healed from the explosion, though they feared that Palomo would never regain full hearing even if he did. As Palomo lay in the Emergency Room bed, frowning at his predicament, Bitters sent him a text message to lighten the mood. 

_ Looks like you are movie Hawkeye. _   
Palomo hit him playfully on the shoulder, though he felt like this wasn’t the time to joke. Bitters got serious after, sending another message.

_ I just hope you get your hearing back so you can actually hear me tell you I love you like I should have so many times before now. _

Palomo sat there stunned for a moment as Bitters leaned up to kiss him, holding him close, trying to make the best of this bad situation.


End file.
